5 Ways to Trust Yourself

You can lose trust for yourself in many different ways. Our society, overall, has a way of making us question ourselves to a point where we sometimes are unsure and insecure.

In other instances, we can become arrogant and righteous. Then, something happens that rocks us to our core and makes us question everything. This can be very traumatic and we can breakdown or publicly collapse.

For whatever reason, if your self-trust is in question, here are 5 ways to trust yourself and gain more confidence. 

Failure is an Opportunity for Growth

We stop trusting ourselves because we fail. This happens because we set our mind on a goal and do not reach that goal in the way we pictured. On top of that, we believe something and our beliefs are proven wrong. 

For me, I lost some trust in myself when I realized that someone I loved and trusted was actually actively sabotaging me behind my back. I found out that this person was doing things to hold me back and put me down for years. They were so close to me that when I finally ended the relationship, I had to completely rebuild how I saw myself.

Your situation might not be as dramatic, but it can include things such as losing a job, ending a relationship, bombing an interview, making a terrible choice, etc.

But here’s what you need to remember: Failure is how we grow. It took you time and many failures to learn to walk. You had to mess up a lot when you learned to dress yourself, but you did it anyway. 

The big life stuff is the same as the little things that you learned when you were a kid. If you think about it clearly, you’ll see that all the things you failed at taught you something valuable. 

To trust yourself again, you have to change your mindset to seeing failure and feedback from the world as an opportunity.

Get to Know Yourself

If you would like to trust yourself more, it would be good for you to get to know yourself on a deep level. We are often moving through the world operating on an unconscious level. 

You may not know yourself because you are following your regular routine and repeated thought patterns. On top of that, we have a million distractions that pull us away from a strong relationship with ourselves.

Getting to know yourself is as simple as digging into what you know you like and do not like. Your self-knowledge is an acknowledgement of how you are showing up for yourself and others.

Furthermore, you need to do a deep exploration of your values. Your values are so important that they guide all of your emotions and decisions. 

Getting to know yourself is a process because you are complicated and beautiful.

Learn to Trust Your Gut (Your Instincts)

We learn to ignore our instincts for many reasons. When you are ready to trust yourself, you will need to re-learn how to follow your gut and your instincts. 

In order to learn to trust your instincts you will need to take time to yourself. While doing this, you will need to learn to communicate with yourself. You do this so you will know when your instincts are leading you in the right direction or if your feelings are coming up from some past trauma or manipulation.

Use meditation, visualization, courses, therapy, and any modality that you align with to learn to communicate with yourself. You will begin to feel your and understand when your instincts are activated and how to react.

Challenge Your Thinking

When you learn to trust yourself, you will also see that there are times when you need to challenge yourself. We have to do this because we sometimes fall into thinking traps.

Thinking traps are a way our mind makes us over-exaggerate situations. We will catastrophize, try to mind read, personalize things and more. As a result, we might be thinking of a situation in a negative light and need to shift our mindset. We have created a mental model of a situation that might be a little distorted.

To kindly challenge our own thinking, what we are doing is trying to make sure that we are looking at a situation objectively, not with an emotional lens. This download has an easy way to challenge a mental model and your assumptions.

Let Go of People Pleasing

Finally, one of the reasons you are not trusting yourself is because you are too busy trying to please other people. 

It is hard to let people down, but if you work on your boundaries, you can learn how to say no with love. Worrying about what others think, living in a type of fear of rejection, and wondering if others are okay with what you are doing, steals your self-trust. You are essentially stealing from yourself. 


Remember, there is no perfect way to start trusting yourself. The suggestions above are just an entry point for beginning a journey and learning process that is worthwhile. As long as you begin this work, you will find what aligns with what you need.

Does an anger management program sound like the next step for you? Purchase our program here.

This blog may contain affiliate links. We only affiliate with products that we use and apply to our own self-love practice

Sign up for our free Gratitude Program 

Get 30 Days of Gratitude sent to your inbox

Get a Free Boundary Workbook to Download

Explore our Programs Page and find one to further your self love journey.

Scroll to Top