Self Love and Toxic People You Love

As a self love educator and coach, my experience is that toxic people are humans, too. I welcome them to begin their self love journey. But, in the meantime, before they are on a self love path, they can be incredibly harmful to your own journey.

So how do you love a toxic person while also loving yourself?

Define Toxic for Yourself

First, the word toxic can be overused, but it is a word that is necessary when you begin your self love journey. A quick Google Search of “signs of toxic people” turns up over 300 million hits. This means there is no lack of information for you to figure out your own definition. 

For the sake of this article, I will use a basic definition based on what the word toxic means, which is poison. This is a person who is constantly poisoning your mind, heart, or spirit, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

Either way, they are not good for you on a regular basis. We all have toxic traits, but can the toxic person in your life go and reflect on themselves when you tell communicate your needs to them?

Assess the Relationship

You have to decide how important this relationship is to you. If this person is blocking your self love journey, why are you allowing it?

Can you take space while you explore yourself?

Are they capable of giving you space?

You have to make a decision. Do you keep them in your life or do you have to let go. People who are solid in their self-love can sometimes keep a relationship within their boundaries while also delving deeper into the healing that comes with self-love.

At the same time, other people will find that their loved ones lash out at them. They find that they cannot keep a toxic person around because the toxic person and the self love journey will not work together.

Working With Your Toxic Relationship

Our hope, always, is that the person we love will join us on a self-love path. Their journey is theirs and yours is yours and sometimes those paths do not align. Nevertheless, here are some ways you can communicate with a person who might be toxic in your life:

  1. Communicate for agreements, this means that you find ways to move forward with something you can agree on.
  2. Explain that you are on a journey and would love them to come.
  3. Tell them your requirements for a continued relationship (like therapy).
  4. Take space and see if they can work through some of their own issues.

Whatever You do Don't Feed The Toxic:

Even though you want to keep these people around, you need to know that there are some people that you are feeding with your attention. This means that you are giving them the energy they need to continue causing chaos in your life. Your self love journey cannot allow for this. 

Boundaries are the way you make sure that you are not feeding these people and those take time. You have to develop your boundaries and you usually have to go through some stages for them to be fully loving boundaries.


In conclusion, there might be a point when you actually have to step away from someone you love very much. Your self love path might need that so you can put yourself as a priority. What you have to realize is that you are not responsible for other people, you are only responsible for you.

Dr. Autumn Thomas

✨✨By starting a self love journey, you are making a powerful statement to yourself and others. Begin by purchasing our program: Techniques for Self Love and Acceptance.✨✨

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