March 2024

Building the Energy for Self Love​

Building the Energy for Self Love

You were given this precious body to experience life with and what better way to fill your cup than to give it some energy.

Deepak Chopra states, “Every day, your body consciously tends to you, never losing focus or attention. You can acknowledge this faithful service by consciously relating to your body in turn.”

When you feel emotions in your body you should label them, connect with them, and release them. There is a more detailed way to do this in our program called “Techniques for Self Love and Acceptance.”

We tend to ignore emotional signals because we are taught that our body is just doing what it needs to do while our minds, hearts, and souls, are doing the real work.

Just like the work you are doing to have loving boundaries and build up your energy with our other activities, your body is in need of your loving care as well.

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Why does energy help?

On the quantum level, your body is made up entirely of energy 

With this list: Joyful Distractions, there are a lot of physical movements suggests to keep take your mind off of stress. These include going for a jog, lifting weights, stretching your muscles, or doing yoga. All of these can increase the energy in your body through creating fun moments with movement.

Movement clears out your brain with the the growth factor called BDNF, which was mentioned in the Neuroscience of loving yourself. This chemical helps you to fill your cup and help you think more clearly.

Regular exercise of just 30 minutes a day can boost your energy through increase nutrient absorption and oxygen. It also reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s by 60% (John Medina, Brain Rules, 2014)

Next steps

It’s all about finding the exercise that you actually enjoy doing. If you like to walk, do that, if you want to have stronger muscles, start a weight training regime.

The biggest goal of exercise and loving yourself, is to listen to your body and do something that makes you happy. Follow joy to your workout routine, but definitely get going because it helps your body communicate with you, increases your energy, and helps you live longer in this life you are loving.

Take time to make a list of activities that you like doing and make a plan to do this. 

Does an anger management program sound like the next step for you? Purchase our program here.

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Self Love – Making a Powerful Moment

Self Love - Making a Powerful Moment

We remember our most profound moments. One way to express self love is to make a powerful moment for yourself.

Life unfolds as a series of peaks and valleys, each punctuated by our ordinary, everyday moments. Within this rhythm lies the opportunity to cultivate profound connections and transformative experiences. It’s in these calm spaces, between the highs and lows, that we have the power to shape our narratives and define our journey.

This realization struck me profoundly while revisiting “The Power of Moments” by Dan and Chip Heath (affiliate link), a book that explains the significance of creating memorable moments in our lives.

So how do you build powerful moments into your ordinary life? Here are 6 ways:

1. Break the routine

When you get into a hypnotic rhythm, one way to make a powerful moment is to break the routine. If you come home each day, make a meal, and then watch tv, then suggest to someone that you go for a walk. Then take advantage of that walk to connect with your loved one. Or pick a day of the week to go have an adventure after dinner.

2. Soak in a moment

Find the beauty in the ordinary with the ROSE activity (attached). This means, recognize the moment, observe everything around you, soak it in, and engrave it into your brain. I did this activity on a sunny day when I was teaching fifth grade and I can still remember one of my students’ faces, the big tree that was by us, the sun on my face, and a slight breeze. The regular moment is now a powerful memory for me.

3. Level up

If there is something that you are focused on or doing everyday, consider leveling it up. For example, I started paddle boarding out on a calm lake near my house. I would not stand up because I didn’t trust my balance or my ability to get back on the board if I fell. Even with this, I decided to challenge myself and level up. I had a friend come with me to help if I fell, and I stood up. I did this over and over again until it became routine. Now it is time for me to consider my next level.

4. Reflect

At the end of the day, consider moments that you had, which could be seen as ordinary, but might have been extraordinary. Think of a moment when someone was kind to you or went out of their way. You can find small moments of love and connection throughout your day, if you really look back. Daily journaling is a great way to notice the power of each day.

5. Celebrate growth

After working with a client for a few months, we noticed that they were able to reframe a thought they usually had. When they noticed that someone was giving them attitude, they were able to think, “well, that attitude is their problem, not mine.” Normally they would think something like, “I wonder what I did wrong?” and would spin-out with their thinking by trying to mind read, fawn, and people please. 

When we recognized this we did a little celebration and journaling. This is an example of looking back, noticing growth, and celebrating it.

6. Elevate an experience

If you know you are about to do something mundane and boring, but want it to be a better moment, elevate it. Here are some examples:
     -Spruce up a boring meeting by bringing some interesting food.
     -Play fun music while organizing your garage.
     -Make a special snack before watching a movie with a loved one.
     -Design a little scavenger hunt for pieces of a small love note.
You get the idea.

Conclusion

Not every moment is going to be powerful, but you CAN work on making your life as memorable as possible by making an effort when life gets a little boring. 

This practice is a great way to retrain your brain to focus on uplifting moments and change your mood. 

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Applying Mindfulness to Your Day

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Applying Mindfulness to Your Day

As you venture onto your self love journey, it is important to consider that your mind will always be filling you up with thoughts because that is its job. These thoughts can sometimes sabotage your efforts so mindfulness is a good way to sort through that.

Applying mindfulness to your daily life can bring you a different kind of energy, because you are aware of your thoughts, but you are then bringing your focus back into the moment that you are in. Also, you can direct your mind to refocus on your own goals.

During Happy Times

During happy times, you can bring in mindfulness by noticing the moment and celebrating it in your mind.

Try to be fully in all the happiest times that you are available for. This is the art of being present.

When you notice that your mind is drifting off to what you “should” be doing, bring your mind gently back to the moment and soak it in.

Try out this ROSE activity that I use with all my students and in many of the Shared Lotus Programs Take a look and apply it to all your happy moments.

During Harder Times

When moments are harder and more stressful, slow down and notice your thoughts.

Are your thoughts trying to protect you or rationalize so you can cope with a situation.

Can you be present in this moment and start to consider it from a different angle? Do you need to take space and re-center yourself before moving on with this situation?

Could you be falling into a thinking trap?

Your Mind is a Garden

You mind is a garden so you want to notice your thoughts when they come up. This is not easy because we tend to work on automatic pilot a lot.

But if you are making this a regular practice, you will start to understand you mind a little better and see what thoughts you are feeding your garden.

This activity is a part of our “Filling Your Cup” online program, which offers many ways to help you center on your self-love journey.

Other ways to be mindful are to reflect in a journal each day, learn mindfulness meditation, or practice breathing and visualization.

Does an anger management program sound like the next step for you? Purchase our program here.

This blog may contain affiliate links.

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Applying Mindfulness to Your Day Read More »

Healing slump

5 things other people can handle – Boundaries

Healing slump

5 things other people can handle - Boundaries

We live in a unique time when people are really digging into healing and learning to handle their own emotional well-being.

Yet, there are times when you might feel like you are responsible for the emotions of someone else. It is healthy to consider how your behaviors can impact others. It is also good to work through any misunderstandings in order to keep healthy relationships. BUT, you are not the one responsible for other people’s emotions.

You are allowed to have boundaries and allow other people to work through times when you say “no”. 

Below is a list of 5 things other people can handle, especially when you need your boundaries to be respected.

1. If you change your mind

We usually feel obligated to commit to something right after we say “yes.” But maybe you got more information or you just do not feel the same when the moment comes. It is okay to change your mind and other people need to handle their own reactions to that.

2. When you are done with being treated poorly

Not everyone is going to treat you well all the time, but it is okay to expect basic kindness and respect. People can handle when you walk away from poor treatment. You can walk away, even when emotions are high (especially so) and allow the other person to go soothe themselves while you take care of you.

3. In the case that you do not want to share something

If you do not want to share your fries, or the latest gossip about someone, you have every right to say “no”. People tend to cross this boundary, but they can take care of themselves after you decide you are not in the mood to share. Is generosity of things and information a kind thing, sometimes. But other times, you want to keep something for yourself and that is okay. When it comes to information, you might need time to process before you are ready to share.

4. At a time when you need space

Some people are not used to giving others space because they feel they never need it. But you just might need it to process and make a decision that is best for you. If someone is not giving you space when you ask for it, let them know that they will be okay. The silent treatment can be somewhat abusive, so tell the other person you will let them know when you are ready to talk and work through a problem, but they need to respect your boundary and give you space.

5. Those moments you do not want to be around a particular person.

Maybe there is a person that has no bad intentions or is perfectly harmless. Unless you have no other choice (your career or maybe even a student), you do not need to spend time with someone you do not like. Especially alone. They can handle that. Just like you are taking responsibility for your own emotional health, they can work on their own feelings of rejection.

Conclusion

It is normal to not want to be rude and to worry about other people’s feelings. But if you have to get “rude” to keep boundaries, well, you might have to, especially in the case of being alone with someone you do not trust.

On the other hand, a simple way to communicate to someone is to simply say, “I trust you can handle me saying “no” to your request. I respect you, so please do the same for me.”

If you struggle with setting boundaries, consider our program called “Loving Boundaries” as a way to practice and communicate your boundaries I a way that shows your love for others and your love for yourself.

Dr. Autumn Thomas

Does an anger management program sound like the next step for you? Purchase our program here.

This blog may contain affiliate links.

Sign up for our free Gratitude Program 

Get 30 Days of Gratitude sent to your inbox

Get a Free Boundary Workbook to Download

Explore our Programs Page and find one to further your self love journey.

5 things other people can handle – Boundaries Read More »

Why Changing Your Mindset Works

Why Changing Your Mindset Works

Interactive Program

Use the interactive video below to learn why changing your mindset works.

By the end, you will understand what is physically happening in your brain when you change your mindset.

Here is the link to video “How Your Brain Looks When You Think New Thoughts” referred to in the video above. 

The file below contains the questions that are asked in the interactive video above. 

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